Tag: female led relationship

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77 days locked

On May 25th Mistress ordered me to be locked. As written in my previous blog I am used to be locked when Mistress travels. But this is the longest I ever been locked for my Mistress. The record was 48 days and we are now at day 77. I spent all that time except for 2 weekends without Mistress.

Not only does she keeps me chaste she also makes me work out and diet. I now run every weekday for 50 minutes. It is very difficult and I have to run very slow to keep going but I can now do it with two small breaks. The result of Mistress her work is very visible I now lost 7kg.

The chastity never becomes easy. I still wake up every night in pain I haven’t had a good night sleep for the last 3 months. I am so tired and have to keep myself together not to snap at work. At the beginning I felt very submissive to Mistress and connected but that is gone.

At the moment I don’t feel submissive at all, I found my routine, waking up early, run, work being to tried to do anything in the evening. I need all my energy just to make it trough the day. Mistress didn’t sent me to an other Mistress this time. I like the pain play but it also makes me miss Mistress a good whipping resets the mind.

Mistress is now finally returning on Sunday. My current project at work is in a critical phase so I couldn’t go to London to meet her. But on Thursday we will be united again. I have to say I look forward to it but I am also scarred, will she release me or will she just tease me till I completely crack? I don’t mind loosing it, but I am scarred that Mistress will not forgive me when I do.

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International Women’s day 2018

I am not a big fan of special days for a subject. I don’t like valentines day because I love my Mistress every day a little bit more and don’t need a special day to remind me of my love. It would be great if we didn’t need a special day for Women but unfortunately it is still needed for most of us. We still live in a white male society, woman and people of color are still a minority as our decision makers. I we look at our government most of them are privileged white males. We see a shift because of populism but I don’t think that anybody sees that as a good thing.

Do I believe in a matriarchal society? No, not for everybody. I would work for me, I love my female led relationship. It makes a relationship so much easier. I don’t like making small decisions, I don’t like discussions, I don’t like conflict with my partner. Mistress makes the daily decisions, we don’t have discussions Mistress is always right, a conflict is over when the whipping starts. This doesn’t mean that Mistress doesn’t respect my opinion. I feel listened to, loved and respected, how many people can say that?

Still I understand that people are different and that different forms of relationships are equal to mine, even traditional male dominated relations.
That should be the goal of this day. Every individual should think for themselves, do I give the women in my life an equal chance? If you are in the position to act, do you act on gender or merit? I am very guilty in this area, because I always go for the female option. I don’t feel comfortable with most males and let that guide me in my friendships and business.

Lets make a step to true democracy and that starts with making sure that our representatives in government and business are a reflection of the real society.

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The love and hate of being in Chastity

I am now 6 years in a Female Led Relationship and Mistress controlled my orgasms from the very first day. It was one of the first things she said, “no cumming without my permission”. It where a few simple words but with a huge impact. It was part of my morning shower ritual; shave, wash, wank. I didn’t really enjoyed it, it was just part of the deal. When I wasn’t tired I would often had a wank in the evening too, watching some bdsm porn. Mistress put an end to all that taking over full control over my body and mind. I liked that, it made me feel close to Mistress but of course the first year I had some hick ups. Mistress made me pay cumtax or whipped me till I promised never to cum again without her consent. That only works for a month and then I would fail her again. Mistress decided it was time for chastity. Because I fly up and down to London all the time I bought my very first bon4, the large version of course. Proudly I wore it under my vanilla clothes and all was good. The trouble was a night, every night my hard-on woke me up and I was in pain. After 3 weeks I was a broken man, horny and tired as hell. Mistress released me for the first time and I was never so great full. I felt the power she had in locking me up it was almost more than I could handle.

Chastity made me afraid. As a masochist I know how to deal with pain, pain is all consuming, it takes over your body and mind. But goes away and leaving a friendly glow of love. Chastity was a different game, it didn’t go away, stays with you for weeks, months as long as Mistress wants. There is no escape just the knowledge that you are owned by your Mistress. After the first lockup I didn’t came ever again without Mistress permission. When I am really horny I edge myself or put nipple clamps till the pain is to much. All things I deserve punishment for but the line is cumming, that is only when Mistress gives it to me.

Over the years, the desire to cum has been greatly reduced. I am not that bothered anymore with cumming, don’t get me wrong I am still a very sexual person. But release can be in so many forms. When Mistress wants an orgasm it is about that and I don’t need one in return. I am happy when I can help achieving hers. Now Mistress let me cum an average once a month and I am very happy with that.

Chastity is still a very important part of our relationship. When Mistress travels for a longer time she locks me up. I now learned that a smaller device is better for me but I will never truly get use to it. The emotions are still all over the place after just a few days locked. It is not about not cumming anymore, it is about the constant pain and sleep deprivation. I am always tired and go to bed as soon as I can. Fall a sleep in seconds but never reaches REM sleep. When I do, I get woken up by the pain. People need REM sleep to order there brain, without it they go slowing crazy.

Dealing with emotions is hard and I fail all the time. But I learned to only focus only on my love for Mistress. The wonderful relationship we have where she totally controls my body and mind. That makes me smile and makes me miss Mistress even more but does gives me a happy feeling. All negative thoughts I push to the background. That would be fine but Mistress loves to control me. She sent me a picture kissing an other boy and I’ll be crying for hours wondering if she still loves me. On the other hand just a small message from Mistress that she loves me, makes me smile for hours. It is that total control over me that Mistress loves about putting me in chastity.

Chastity is a strong tool in any form of D/s relation and I understand why so many Mistresses use it as a training tool. For me I hate the little thing that is now between my legs but when Mistress returns home after being 6 weeks in Dubai and I see her smiling with my keys between her breasts teasing me with her beautiful body. I know I am owned by a powerful Dominatrix and I love every second of it.

Join me in Chastity!

If you are not ready, you can watch some chastity clips and dream about the moment Mistress locks you too.

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Femdom Ball 2018 – sponsor a Lady

On October 6th is for the 4th time “The Femdom Ball” organized by Madame Caramel. It is a unique fetish event where glamor and of course the wonderful power of Women are central. The dress code is gala for the Ladies and all black for the boys. This gives a unique atmosphere. Don’t worry there is fully equipped dungeon room where naughty boys get punished. Just like all the previous editions they fully expect a sold out event in October.

If you are not in a female led relationship and attend as couple I strongly suggest to sponsor a Lady and be at her beg and call during this event. It is the perfect gift for your Mistress, surprise her with a ticket to the ball and see her smile. It is not only the evening itself but you can also take her shopping for the perfect dress go with her for a pedicure/manicure. It will give you the opportunity to serve her and show your devotion. So get your tickets today!