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12 years of servitude

Mistress and I are now a little over 12 years together and next month we will finally marry. It is a nice moment to reflect and think about the future. Mistress has really been my savior. From childhood I already played power exchange games and my puberty was full of internet (BBS) BDSM. But I never made the step to seek a professional Dominatrix. A vanilla relationship that didn’t work out but did gave my a beautiful daughter makes the story complete.

Because of my longing for kink and didn’t want to go outside my relationship I started a kinky blog in the Netherlands. It allowed me to express my kink and it brought me closer to the femdom world in the Netherlands. This is also how I came in contact with Mistress as she was announcing her visit to The Hague on twitter. For me it clicked immediately her open way of talking, her beautiful smile, her view on the world and above all she is 100% a dominant woman in everything she does. The submissive man inside me was awoken.

It took some time before I united myself of my previous life but halve a year later I was ready to see Mistress. Of course things where not that straight forward. Mistress had multiple lovers, slaves,… a complex social life. As with many subs it was love at first sight from the male perspective. I was at first, yet an other man in her life that wanted something from her. I just wanted her attention, I didn’t mind the others as long as I was with Mistress. Mistress quickly understood my kinks and every time I left her with her marks on my body. Hoping that they would last till the next time I would see her.

The only thing I could do was try to proof myself to Mistress. I am obedient, I listen to her, I help where I can, I am patient, I am grateful for her attention and I truly love her. My first birthday was the most special birthday I ever had, Mistress collared me. It was so special to me, because it was the first commitment from Mistress to me. You are mine now, no playing around, you are owned. I cried from happiness and still every time she collars me I find it such an intimate moment.

Over the years we just we grew closer and closer together, of course we had our bumps in the road. But even that gave us more insights in each other. For the first time in my life I can say I truly love a partner and I can’t imaging a life without her. So I am so happy that we finally getting married next month.

The big question of course, why, will it change anything? I don’t think so, for me it is just yet an other way to say, I love you I want to be with you whatever life trows at us. I believe that together we are stronger and more powerful then apart. We are having a Female Led Relationship and that doesn’t mean I don’t have a say. Mistress always listen to my arguments only the final decision is hers. It matches so perfectly with how I am, I don’t want big discussions, I speak my mind and then a decision is made by Mistress and we stick to it.

Over the years I understand Mistress kinks and mine better and better. We don’t play all the time but there is always a level of servitude I have for Mistress. I cook, clean, help her dress, do the shopping get her drinks and many more small things. Any mistake in this area will result in punishment. Punishment is so different then play. I love impact play and Mistress knows exactly how to dance around my limits. When I was a good boy she will push me over the line till I find mercy in sub space. This is such an beautiful moment with Mistress. My mind disconnects from the pain, I feel happy and loved in Mistress her embrace.

That brings me to my ultimate kink and that is power exchange. Feeling the power of Mistress when she pushes my limits, when I suffer beyond pleasure. It is such a contradiction in my mind, why is the woman that I love doing that to me and please don’t stop making me suffer Mistress. This can be with the whip but I feel her feminine power the most when she teases me in chastity. When we both lust for each other but for some reason she enjoys my suffering more then making love to me. How can I not love this woman?

So will marriage change our dynamic? No, we are constantly in flux but our base is solid and build on mutual respect. I love her, I trust her with my life. I hope to create many more memories with her both in vanilla as in kink. I hope she will push me out of my comfort zone to discover new pleasures. I can only offer to trust her, to accept with open mind so she can explorer her own kinks and limits. I am sure in her love and feel comfortable in our FLR, she is the woman that beats me.

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Labels, titles and their meaning.

Just a disclaimer in front, this blog reflect my views on the subject and not that of my Mistress. In this case she doesn’t fully agree but she is kind enough to let me express my thoughts.

On twitter there is a lively discussion at the moment about who should call themself a Dominatrix and who an escort with kinky services. Of course all synonyms of the terms are used.

The main point is should the term Dominatrix be protected to these that only offer domination services and no personal services?

Of course there are no legal grounds to protect any of the sex workers titles. Although that would be the solution. If a dominatrix could say, I have a PHD in domination with a specialty in whipping, that could be protected. I do see kink entering the vanilla world we are far from this situation.

So where are we in this day and age? You see devaluation of titles all around us. Even the once given by nature, like male and female , are becoming more blurred. It is the natural evolution of human nature and we have never been able to stop this. It helps us question or status quo in society and helps us to be come stronger individuals. Look at the current gen Z for many a step to far but they are striving.

So am I pleading that any thing should go? That we should forget the lessons from the past and just do whatever? No, diffidently not I am against the current tendency of narcissism and the current why the titles are used is a reflection of that. As always the truth in somewhere in the middle.

We can not protect our titles in the kinky world nor make definition of them. So it all boils down to mutual respect. Take the effort the learn each other before assuming anything. Sex workers are extremely well in stating their boundaries. Unfortunately customers are extremely good at only thinking of their own moment of pleasure.

So sex workers shouldn’t argue between each other, but support and help each other. See your work for what it is. It is highly specialized and is not something you can do without education. This can be self education by studying your peers but a better way in my opinion is to become an apprentice and learn the craft by an experienced Dominatrix or Escort.

To come back to the original question, yes I do think you can combine domination and personal service and still call yourself a Dominatrix. We shouldn’t enforce definitions they are only valid in our point of view. By objecting to them we close ourselves to others.

On the other hand I also believe that a relationship with a Dominatrix is way more intimate without personal services. Tease and denial is the core to power exchange. It is amazing the pleasure you find in just being close to your Mistress. It is pleasure that can go on forever while an orgasm is just a few seconds. So just take your time learn each other pleasures, limits and above all respect them. Life will be so much more pleasureful than arguing about a definition.

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Hooded

Lately Mistress is using more and more strict hoods when she plays with me. I am starting to really love my sensory deprivation hood. I don’t like it that I can’t see my beautiful Mistress during our play. But the ritual when Mistress puts my hood on is fascinating. The thick leather immediately takes away all my sight. Then Mistress start to tightening the lace. I can feel the leather enclosing my face more and more till it is almost a second skin. The hood has extra thick leather over my ears so I can only hear Mistress slightly. There is only a small hole to breath. I have to focus on my breathing and whatever happens I can’t panic because then I don’t get air.

When the hood is fully closed and the only thing I can do is wait for what is going to happen. I fully trust my Mistress but I am also excited and a bit scared for what is going to happen. I try to hear what her next move is but the hood only give me distance sounds. I try to smell my Mistress but the leather is to strong to get anything reach me. Then Mistress touches my nipple, I almost jumped about the strong sensation. It was just to add a first layer of pain. The nipple clamps are biting sharply in my sensitive nipples.

I welcome the feeling, the pain she inflects is like an energy bridge between us. I relax and let the pain flow through my body. The more layers of pain Mistress add the more she takes control of my body and mind. There is nothing else in my world then this moment between Mistress and I.

The sharp pain of the whip brings me back to reality. I scream in my hood and without mercy it takes my breath away. I fully focus on my breathing while Mistress increases the pain with each lash of her whip. Then she stops, I slowly recover only for Mistress to increases the pain in my nipples. The nipple clamps are now digging sharply in my nipples it is a pain that I can’t ban from brain but is so intense I want to cry.

This is no play more, I am truly suffering, pain inflected by the woman I love so much. The whip comes down again and to focus of pain goes from my nipples to my back. The pain is so much why am I doing this? The moment I asked this question, I know the answer. I do this for my Mistress, it connects us in a way nothing else can. I slowly stop focusing on the restriction of the hood, the pain in my nipples, the whip on my shoulders. Even with the hood it feels like I can see her, smell her, hear her. I feel myself drown to her energy and I only want more, more pain but most of all more Mistress

I slowly sink into subspace, there is no resistance to anything Mistress does with my body. It is hers to do as she pleases. I feel happy, I feel loved but above all I feel hers.
Thank you my Mistress for giving me theses experiences, you are amazing!
Maybe I buy an even more restricting hood so I can be even closer to you. (if you have a suggestion please leave a link in the comments)

You can see many of our plays on Madame Caramels’s onlyfans, join us.

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Sharing Mistress

Mistress asked me to write a blog about my feelings of her having a new submissive partner. This question didn’t came as a big surprise Mistress has always told me that she wanted multiple partners in her life. During our relationship there have been a few. I will not deny it, it always hurts me to see Mistress with somebody else.

I understand the attraction of having multiple people in your life. After all we are capable of having multiple friends with relationships on different levels. I believe it enrich life experience. But when it comes to polyamory that is a different topic.

I know I am a romantic that believes in true love and that a relationship is about seeing the beauty in each other shortcomings. Mistress of course sees it different and she wants it all and believes that it can work as long as there are strict rules to maintain.

As in any relationship we established some ground rules and as this was always part of our relationship I of course accept Mistress her choices. It does trouble me and worry me but we will see. At the end of the day when I see Mistress happy I am also happy so we will see where this ends.

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My view on OnlyFans

Yesterday the internet exploded with the news from Bloomberg that OnlyFans will stop allowing explicit content on its platform. This created an enormous amount of FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) by many content creators and for good reason in the last 2 years during the pandemic OF became there main source of income.

So how realistic is that at some point in the future adult content will be banned?

Lets start with the company OnlyFans is owned by Fenix International Limited and has it official HQ in London/UK but most of the work is done in California/USA. As many new companies on the internet it starts with a business idea and technology. Lots of technology OF was all about growth and needed all hands on deck to scale the operation to handle all it new users.

Now the technology part is more or less alright you see the focus switching on business growth. How can they make more money. Of course the adult industry was the early adapter and OF welcomed the industry with open arms in its initial phase. Now its revenues is $390 million (source Financial Times) and it needs to tap a different source then the adult industry and the kinky influencers for it next jump to a billion. On top of that the authorities are looking into the legal aspects.

In the old days of the internet it was common that a company only has to comply to the laws of the country where it was hosted. That is long gone and now as a company you need to comply to all the laws in the countries you are offering your services. If you operate globally it means you need to comply to all laws. This is of course impossible so you see technology platforms first focus on their main markets and if they run into trouble disable their platform in these countries.

For OF the target country is the United States of America. This means that they have to comply to all FOSTA-SESTA rules. But also all legislation that is targeted to BDSM (e.g. you can’t give written consent to abuse) So yes this will reduce the allowed content on OF for many creators.

Next is the financial pictures. OF is fully dependent on Mastercard/Visa that also have to comply to USA laws. On top of that there main concern is high risk transactions. Many of these adult platforms are used for money laundering. Also OF is under investigation by many authorities for enabling this. All sort of new KYC rules (Kown Your Customer) will be enforced and that is for many content creators and their customers not always so easy. But there is no way back if OF wants to keep on operating it has to comply.

The above story is true for any content platform on the internet. So yes I believe that slowly OF will have to change it general terms and condition to comply with legislation in different countries and even more for the payment providers. Although we know that if you make enough money you can make a deal with them as many of the largest adult sites have proven. The best way out is to split the platform for OF a strict adult part where you have to proof your identity and all content has to be made according to the USA adult content standards. The other part will be an open platform where anybody can follow its favorite celebrity and pay something extra for exclusive content.

My personal view and advice to the Mistresses now on Only Fans. It is time to slowly move away don’t abandon your subscribers but tease them with more explicit content on your new platform of choice. When you create content always store the original on your local computer/cloud so you can re-use the same content on the new platform.

It looks like the new platform of choice is loyalfans, please follow my Mistress @madamecaramel yes also this platform will have to comply when it become a billion dollar company but till then we can make and spend money with them.

After thought:

Is there a solution. In the last few years we have seen many startups that issued an ICO to fix the payment problem. In theory that is of course through but you have to allow people to buy these tokens and that is not easy without a credit card. Yes you could create an ERC-20 token and use a service like pancakeswap but that might be a bridge to far for many people. I do see the solution in the use of crypto but I would use a standard token like Bitcoin but more likely a cardano token. Because these tokens are used by everybody and can not be individual banned that should fix the payment problem.

For the hosting of the platform I think you have to really embrace to country laws. Make sure that all content is correctly marked so you can create a mix for each individual user based on their preferences and local laws. I would make use of deep learning algorithms to find illegal content and protect the platform. I still think the internet allows enough freedom and technology to can do all. Protect what we love and still gives us freedom to express our kinks. Who is with me!

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Locked for 6 weeks and counting

43 days ago Mistress released a clip on her onlyfans announcing that she wants all her boys in chastity of course that included me. She has been extremely generous with my orgasms the last year. Of course I was locked for locktober, after I was only locked for a few weeks for her pleasure. Besides that I was free and allowed many orgasms during our time together. That in contrast to our normal routine where Mistress strictly controls my orgasms and limits them to one every 2 to 3 weeks.

The first weeks in chastity are always difficult and this time it was even harder. I was used to the more frequent orgasms and now I am back in strict control of Mistress her steel cage. No mercy, no escape only suffering and accepting the control of my Mistress. Because what she gives me she can also take away with a single word.

I did my usual routine, try to ignore everything as much as possible. Just focus on work and don’t think to much of Mistress and kink. But chastity has a way to control your body and mind. For a long time I didn’t feel so submissive, of course when Mistress asks something I would always comply. But now after 6 weeks I crave Mistress, I want to feel her power over me, I want her to be mean to me, I want her to hurt me, mark me as hers.

It is no longer the orgasm I desire the most. I want to that special moment when she puts my collar on. I want her breathing to change when she is fully committed into whipping me. I want to feel our separate energies merge in to one. I want my Mistress.

But as always it is not about what I want. Mistress wants me to wait for her, suffer in silence until I again fully submit to her and only focus on her needs. After all this years it still surprises me how powerful chastity is. A simple piece of plastic or metal and a key is more powerful then a whip, a cane or any words.

So thank you my Mistress for locking me up, making me remember that my submission to you is the most beautiful thing in my life. I hope you are proud of me and I can’t wait to kiss your feet again and show you my devotion to you in real life.

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fantasy 2021

Joris! I rushed from the kitchen to Mistress. She was dressed in her red velvet dress that hugged her curves beautifully. She was wearing her high leather boots and was holding the short leather whip in her hand. Mistress was in a strict mode, “undress, inspection position”. As fast as I could I undressed and assumed the inspection position. She walked around me and I try not to look to match at her but of course my eyes wondered to her beautiful bottom. Mistress caught me and the whip kissed my back, 10 very hard quick lashes puts me back in my place.

It is New years eve and we had an amazing year together for the first time we lived full time together and I like it having you around all the time. But you have been slacking on many aspects to. I want perfections from you, you understand? The whip landed again, do you understand Mistress asked again. Yes Mistress I replied quickly. For some reason you are to weak to serve me at your best without incentive. I am sorry Mistress, I said.

2021 will be the year of discipline, change and commitment. I will shape you to be my perfect servant, if you want it or not after all, you are mine to do with what I pleases. I could only reply with “Yes Mistress”, she is my everything and I will do whatever she asks. I was feeling really bad. I want to be a good boy for my Mistress, I want her to be proud of me, show me off to her friends. But Mistress was not pleased with me and that made me really sad.

Mistress saw the change in my body and went with her hand over my body. I felt a bit better, Mistress still loves me. Now she said and whip lashed again, 2021. You will spend it in chastity and you will have to earn every orgasm you will have. I want you slimmer and fitter, so every Saturday morning you will weigh yourself if you lost a kilo you will out of chastity for the rest of the weekend. So it is up to you how often you want a release, do you understand? Yes Mistress I understand. I was thinking how often I would be out of chastity, I lost 5 kg last year, but it is getting more difficult now.

Every evening at 8pm you will go to the bedroom, get naked, put nipple clamps, blindfold and assume waiting position in the middle of the room. You will recede your Mantra for 15 minutes. If you have been a good boy nothing will happen, if you need punishment I will cane you with my new Prison Cane. No exceptions, even if we have guests you will excuse yourself for 15 minutes. Do you understand? Yes Mistress! Now put your chastity cage on and get the cane….

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Karamel London

Mistress is a real lifestyle Dominatrix. She loves to put her hands on a new un-experienced sub and train him till he becomes all hers. Having a session for an hour where the sub just comes to satisfies his kinks doesn’t fit in that picture. So Mistress decided that now the world is changing due to covid-19 it is also time that she changes. No more quick sessions for the boys but only long experiences 4h, overnights are real lifestyle training. Likes this she will only have the sessions she really wants and that gives her time for her new passion Karamelondon. All this years of being a Domintrax makes her an expert in marketing. Now she can puts all this knowledge in her new make-up brand. I am so proud of my Mistress that whatever she does she goes all the way. If it is the whip or lash Mistress is always the best.

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Locktober 2020

Joris Locked for Madame Caramel

It was the first of October at 0:01 am and Mistress told me to go to the bathroom and put the chastity belt on and to come back with the lock and keys for her. It was the official start of Locktober 2020. Mistress likes me locked. After all it is all about her pleasure and no man can compete to the superior Doxy. But I can’t complain she allows me an orgasm on average every two weeks. More if we film for her onlyfans.

Normally I always fly back and forward to London and my preferred device is the holy trainer as it goes undetected at security. Mistress can then keep the keys while we are away from each other. But this year is different, Mistress and I are most of the time together and I don’t fly anymore. So it was time for a change.

I looked around for a metal device. I have several I both from China but after one or two days they all start to hurt. The made-to-measure device all had very long waiting times. Guess lock down also means lock up for many people. I went for the bon4 metal. It is a beautiful cage, with many options in ring size and spacers. I went for the same set-up as I used to have with my CB6000 and it fits perfectly. It doesn’t hurt during normal wear, because of the bars it is easy to clean. But most importantly it looks amazing on me.

Seeing your cock in the tight metal cage, feels way better then in plastic. Mistress also likes the look. It has the same security as any other ball trapped device. I of course haven’t tried to get out of it. One day Mistress will give me a chastity piercing to remove any temptation.

The process of my chastity month is a bit different then normal. Normally I try to ignore it as much as possible and that works very well for me. But having Mistress in the house makes it so way more difficult. She is often dressed up in the most amazing outfits to film for her onlyfans. I find myself often looking at her beautiful ass. The bon4 has no mercy for me, no erections allowed.

It is very difficult having Mistress around and teasing me all day, but now she is a few days to London and I can only think of her wishing she was back. The hole strategy to ignore my chastity is not working this time. Only 8 more days and then I hope amazing play time with a big release at the end. I try not to hope to much because with Mistress you never know. She might just give me a ruined orgasm and lock me back up. But I have been a very good boy so I keep dreaming of my release day.