The love and hate of being in Chastity

I am now 6 years in a Female Led Relationship and Mistress controlled my orgasms from the very first day. It was one of the first things she said, “no cumming without my permission”. It where a few simple words but with a huge impact. It was part of my morning shower ritual; shave, wash, wank. I didn’t really enjoyed it, it was just part of the deal. When I wasn’t tired I would often had a wank in the evening too, watching some bdsm porn. Mistress put an end to all that taking over full control over my body and mind. I liked that, it made me feel close to Mistress but of course the first year I had some hick ups. Mistress made me pay cumtax or whipped me till I promised never to cum again without her consent. That only works for a month and then I would fail her again. Mistress decided it was time for chastity. Because I fly up and down to London all the time I bought my very first bon4, the large version of course. Proudly I wore it under my vanilla clothes and all was good. The trouble was a night, every night my hard-on woke me up and I was in pain. After 3 weeks I was a broken man, horny and tired as hell. Mistress released me for the first time and I was never so great full. I felt the power she had in locking me up it was almost more than I could handle.

Chastity made me afraid. As a masochist I know how to deal with pain, pain is all consuming, it takes over your body and mind. But goes away and leaving a friendly glow of love. Chastity was a different game, it didn’t go away, stays with you for weeks, months as long as Mistress wants. There is no escape just the knowledge that you are owned by your Mistress. After the first lockup I didn’t came ever again without Mistress permission. When I am really horny I edge myself or put nipple clamps till the pain is to much. All things I deserve punishment for but the line is cumming, that is only when Mistress gives it to me.

Over the years, the desire to cum has been greatly reduced. I am not that bothered anymore with cumming, don’t get me wrong I am still a very sexual person. But release can be in so many forms. When Mistress wants an orgasm it is about that and I don’t need one in return. I am happy when I can help achieving hers. Now Mistress let me cum an average once a month and I am very happy with that.

Chastity is still a very important part of our relationship. When Mistress travels for a longer time she locks me up. I now learned that a smaller device is better for me but I will never truly get use to it. The emotions are still all over the place after just a few days locked. It is not about not cumming anymore, it is about the constant pain and sleep deprivation. I am always tired and go to bed as soon as I can. Fall a sleep in seconds but never reaches REM sleep. When I do, I get woken up by the pain. People need REM sleep to order there brain, without it they go slowing crazy.

Dealing with emotions is hard and I fail all the time. But I learned to only focus only on my love for Mistress. The wonderful relationship we have where she totally controls my body and mind. That makes me smile and makes me miss Mistress even more but does gives me a happy feeling. All negative thoughts I push to the background. That would be fine but Mistress loves to control me. She sent me a picture kissing an other boy and I’ll be crying for hours wondering if she still loves me. On the other hand just a small message from Mistress that she loves me, makes me smile for hours. It is that total control over me that Mistress loves about putting me in chastity.

Chastity is a strong tool in any form of D/s relation and I understand why so many Mistresses use it as a training tool. For me I hate the little thing that is now between my legs but when Mistress returns home after being 6 weeks in Dubai and I see her smiling with my keys between her breasts teasing me with her beautiful body. I know I am owned by a powerful Dominatrix and I love every second of it.

Join me in Chastity!

If you are not ready, you can watch some chastity clips and dream about the moment Mistress locks you too.

The importance of CP

When I started serving Mistress I always had her marks on my body. Instead of telling me I was wrong she used her cane or whip to teach me. It gives a very powerful situation in the house. I was completely focused on Mistress and watched her every move. All my problems went to the background and for the first time in my life my mind was at peace. I would love this situation for the rest of my life safe in the female power of my Mistress but reality is different. A slave at her feet doesn’t make money for her lifestyle so Mistress pushed me to pursuit new carriere goals. She has an amazing influence om my life. I am more confident and can focus on what is important and know not to give up when thinks are getting hard.
The other side of the coin is that sometimes I forget my place in Mistress presence. I talk back or ignore her. In most relationships this would become a problem but when you are in a Female led Relationship this is quickly resolved with some corporal punishment. Mistress is so different when she punishes me, she doesn’t touch me, there is no warming up. It is just “punishment position” and pain nothing else then pain. It is not sexy, your body screams to get out, tell her to fuck off and leave. It can take some but at the end the pain always wins, it clears my head ans shows me what is truly important in my life, who I truly love, My Mistress Madame Caramel, I am sorry for my behavior, thank you for sticking with me and teach me your way.

Watch the full clip here

Club Black Whip: March 23

Club Black Whip will always remain something special for me. Six years ago I came for the first time to London to meet Madame Caramel. We played in the dungeon and then she said, it is Club Black Whip night your are joining me. After a few yes Ma’am we where on our way. I was nervous as hell, because I never went to a play party in my life. I just received my very first caning and there I was in the back of the car driving to an unknown location with a woman I just met. Somehow everything was fine because I was with Madame Caramel. The club started slow but soon more and more beautiful black ladies arrived in the club. They made lots of noise and I was touched and squeezed by most of them. Mistress gave me a camera and said make pictures. That was more my style, I walked around the club looking at the play going on. I remember one slave that got whipped by a tall beautiful lady. She laught while her whip came merciless on his white body. His body was shaking, it was pushed to the limit but when I looked closely I could see him smiling and offering his body for the next lash. I was intrigued could I ever enjoy a whipping like him? Later I learned that the slave was Kurdy and the Mistress was Miss Deviant.

Somebody shouted “Joris”, Madame Caramel was looking for me. I ran to her, I guess I was slow because she took a paddle and my second punishment of the day was due. Everybody was watching and I did my best not to scream for my Mistress. Suddenly it was over and she said, get me a bottle of champagne and serve us. When I was back she ordered me to lay down put her feet on my face and talked to her friend like I wasn’t there. I don’t remember much else of the evening but it was one of the best experiences of my life. Because of work I missed a lot of these magical evenings but when I can I be there serving my Mistress.

Join me in this celebration of Black Female Supremacy!

Femdom Ball 2018 – sponsor a Lady

On October 6th is for the 4th time “The Femdom Ball” organized by Madame Caramel. It is a unique fetish event where glamor and of course the wonderful power of Women are central. The dress code is gala for the Ladies and all black for the boys. This gives a unique atmosphere. Don’t worry there is fully equipped dungeon room where naughty boys get punished. Just like all the previous editions they fully expect a sold out event in October.

If you are not in a female led relationship and attend as couple I strongly suggest to sponsor a Lady and be at her beg and call during this event. It is the perfect gift for your Mistress, surprise her with a ticket to the ball and see her smile. It is not only the evening itself but you can also take her shopping for the perfect dress go with her for a pedicure/manicure. It will give you the opportunity to serve her and show your devotion. So get your tickets today!