Just a disclaimer in front, this blog reflect my views on the subject and not that of my Mistress. In this case she doesn’t fully agree but she is kind enough to let me express my thoughts.
On twitter there is a lively discussion at the moment about who should call themself a Dominatrix and who an escort with kinky services. Of course all synonyms of the terms are used.
The main point is should the term Dominatrix be protected to these that only offer domination services and no personal services?
Of course there are no legal grounds to protect any of the sex workers titles. Although that would be the solution. If a dominatrix could say, I have a PHD in domination with a specialty in whipping, that could be protected. I do see kink entering the vanilla world we are far from this situation.
So where are we in this day and age? You see devaluation of titles all around us. Even the once given by nature, like male and female , are becoming more blurred. It is the natural evolution of human nature and we have never been able to stop this. It helps us question or status quo in society and helps us to be come stronger individuals. Look at the current gen Z for many a step to far but they are striving.
So am I pleading that any thing should go? That we should forget the lessons from the past and just do whatever? No, diffidently not I am against the current tendency of narcissism and the current why the titles are used is a reflection of that. As always the truth in somewhere in the middle.
We can not protect our titles in the kinky world nor make definition of them. So it all boils down to mutual respect. Take the effort the learn each other before assuming anything. Sex workers are extremely well in stating their boundaries. Unfortunately customers are extremely good at only thinking of their own moment of pleasure.
So sex workers shouldn’t argue between each other, but support and help each other. See your work for what it is. It is highly specialized and is not something you can do without education. This can be self education by studying your peers but a better way in my opinion is to become an apprentice and learn the craft by an experienced Dominatrix or Escort.
To come back to the original question, yes I do think you can combine domination and personal service and still call yourself a Dominatrix. We shouldn’t enforce definitions they are only valid in our point of view. By objecting to them we close ourselves to others.
On the other hand I also believe that a relationship with a Dominatrix is way more intimate without personal services. Tease and denial is the core to power exchange. It is amazing the pleasure you find in just being close to your Mistress. It is pleasure that can go on forever while an orgasm is just a few seconds. So just take your time learn each other pleasures, limits and above all respect them. Life will be so much more pleasureful than arguing about a definition.