Cum Controlled

I was working on my computer and suddenly I hear Mistress ringing the bell. I of course dropped what I did and went to the bedroom. Mistress was sitting in only her beautiful nightgown. Mistress pointed in front of her and I quickly knelt down for her.

Boy, it is time to continue your chastity training. I don’t mind that much, Mistress locks me up a lot and although the frustration is difficult to deal with I have no other choice and I accept that. Mistress continues, but you will love it this time, no cage and we will do all the kinky thinks you love so much. I looked at her in disbelieve. Of course you are not allowed to cum. Every drop of cum are 10 whip lashes. If you manage not to have an orgasm in the next 2 weeks you can choose you favorite way to cum. If you have an orgasm you will be locked in your cage for a month after that we play this game again, do you understand?

I could only say “yes Mistress” I was looking forward of Mistress teasing me, but I know I have no chance I will cum when Mistress teases me, how can I resist her? Mistress pointed to her holy shrine, no sniff and edge for me boy, only snuff no touching. Mistress holy shrine smells so good, I quickly became hard and slowly stroked. It didn’t took long before I felt the familiar feeling of building up an orgasm. I slowed down my stroking and looked at Mistress. She smiled and said, yes you want to ask something. Mistress may I please stop I will cum soon I asked. Yes we will continue this evening Mistress said you may go.

That evening, when we went to bed and Mistress took her Doxy, a simple command, lick followed. She put her doxy to her clit and I licked all her juices while she enjoyed. I could feel my cock pulsing but I didn’t dare to touch it without permission. Soon Mistress came and there was nothing for me, night night she said. I was up for a couple of hours with a cock calling for attention. This was only day one of teasing, how can I do this for 2 weeks?

The next few days, Mistress made me edge when I came home after work. It became a nice ritual. I kissed her, she said kneel and opened her legs and the command lick and edge came. After 3 days I was so horny and it took less and less to get to the edge. Mistress encouraged me to keep stroking and of course the first drops of pre-cum came out. Mistress smiled and only said get the whip. I think these are 3 drops and she whipped me 30 times. No warm up, just hard lashes that I needed to count. I was in so much pain but my hard cock was still there almost rebelling to Mistress her effort.

The first week passed with daily edging and it was Saturday we had nothing planned and after Mistress made me clean the house, she ordered me in the dungeon. Soon I was tied up to the bed and there was nothing I could do to stop Mistress from teasing me. She got on top of me and puts her ass in my face. I was scared and never could resist Mistress like this. I didn’t move, closed my eyes. But Mistress knew better, lick she ordered. I couldn’t resist her and put my tongue to her beautiful asshole and licked. My cock betrayed me again and was rock hard. Mistress started to stroke me and I knew I was in deep trouble.

Luckily she stroked me very slow and I was actually in heaven. I almost forgot that I wasn’t allowed to cum, when Mistress stopped stroking and my cock pulsed in an effort to cum. Of course some pre cum came out and Mistress laughed and I will enjoy whipping you later. Keep on licking and she continued to stoke me. I tried to get away from her but the restrains did there work and there was no place to go. I started to beg to stop but Mistress made kept me on the absolute edge with very light touches now. This was so frustrating I wanted to cum so much but I didn’t want to be locked for a month after that. Mistress said oo there is more pre cum you will bleed for me later. I almost started crying, Mistress put her full weight down on my face and waited till I struggled for air. Now it is time for the whip she said.

After the whipping, I took a shower and saw the water turning red from my blood. My back hurt so much and I still have a week to go. The daily teasing and edging continued and I can tell you all this so much more difficult than being locked up in a chastity cage. When I struggle in my cage I take distance from Mistress and keep to myself. But this teasing and edging forces me to be close to Mistress. I can now not edge anymore without loosing pre cum and I expect every moment to give myself a ruined orgasm with all the cum build up that will be a lot of whipping to pay that off to Mistress.

It was Saturday again my two weeks are almost done. I was starting to think I could make it. Mistress ordered me again to the dungeon and tied me up. I was expecting to have some more facesitting, but she blindfolded me and all I could do was wait. I could hear the bottle of lube and I expected some prostate massage. But then I felt two cold pads on my nipples from the e-stim. Mistress can make me cum from the right amount of pain or torture me merciless. Then I could feel her on my cock, It didn’t took long before I could feel what she was doing.

She was using the new kali’s teeth. These had long sharp points and will pierce the skin. With some effort she closed it and I was in a world of pain. I was loosing a bit of my erection but then the e-stim started to work on my nipples. No pain just stimulation I was getting hard again and Kali was biting hard on my cock. Mistress started laughing, do you like this boy? I was in to much pain and pleasure to answer. She got on top of me and entered my cock in her holy shrine. Even with the pain I was right on the edge again. Slowly she started to ride me. While I was getting closer to orgasm Mistress increase the e-stim and I was in so much pain. I came and I came hard I don’t even know anymore if it was out of pleasure or out of pain. Mistress said me too and she increased the e-stim even more while she put her doxy to her clit. I was crying out in pain and Mistress in pleasure.

After she released me it was very simple, you lost take a shower and lock yourself and come bring me the keys. We try again next month. Yes Mistress was all I could say.

The Mixed feelings about Chastity

On my blogs I already wrote a lot about chastity. That is not so strange because it is a powerful tool in any Female Led Relationship. As men we are programmed to spread our seed as often as possible. I am no exception to that. For years every day I started the day with a wank even when I was in a relationship and intercourse was a possibility I still wanked a lot just as a habit, it was part my routine.

When Mistress came in my life one of the first things she said was no cumming without permission. At first I taught it was hot, I was craving all my life to be controlled by a powerful dominatrix and Mistress fulfilled my wishes and more. After a few months and not being with Mistress all the time, I made my mistakes. Mistress responded quickly with severe punishment and of course for the first time chastity. A bon4 silicon with a plastic lock so I am still able to fly to Mistress and back to Holland.

From that moment chastity has been a big part of our D/s relationship. Mistress likes the control it gives her and I really like to be controlled by Mistress. It gives me a feeling of being owned. I really feel hers when I am locked and it feels good to have somebody that takes care of me. It also puts me at ease when I am with other women, Mistresses or not. Nothing can happen, I am claimed and locked.

On the other side, chastity is really difficult, the not cumming I can deal with that is for my Mistress. But the chastity cage also prevents a good sleep and that has effect on everything. I am always tired and can’t process the daily events during my R.E.M. sleep. It results that I am emotional, grumpy and have difficulties to concentrate. That has an effect on my work and friendships.

But more important is that it effect my thinking about Mistress. When I am lock with her it is fine, she corrects me when I have a difficult time and the whip is a great mind changer. When she is for months in the Middle East enjoying herself with her rich clients and toy boys my mind can go very dark. It always scares me and I am so afraid that one day I will do something stupid. I always have to calm myself down and remind me that she loves me and that it will be fine when we are back together.

But I wouldn’t want to miss it in our relationship. I think my Mistress is the most beautiful woman in the world and I crave her touch. But when I am in chastity and she teases me till I cry. The extreme power she has over me and the love I feel for her is one of the most beautiful things in my life. So thank you for controlling me my Mistress.

77 days locked

On May 25th Mistress ordered me to be locked. As written in my previous blog I am used to be locked when Mistress travels. But this is the longest I ever been locked for my Mistress. The record was 48 days and we are now at day 77. I spent all that time except for 2 weekends without Mistress.

Not only does she keeps me chaste she also makes me work out and diet. I now run every weekday for 50 minutes. It is very difficult and I have to run very slow to keep going but I can now do it with two small breaks. The result of Mistress her work is very visible I now lost 7kg.

The chastity never becomes easy. I still wake up every night in pain I haven’t had a good night sleep for the last 3 months. I am so tired and have to keep myself together not to snap at work. At the beginning I felt very submissive to Mistress and connected but that is gone.

At the moment I don’t feel submissive at all, I found my routine, waking up early, run, work being to tried to do anything in the evening. I need all my energy just to make it trough the day. Mistress didn’t sent me to an other Mistress this time. I like the pain play but it also makes me miss Mistress a good whipping resets the mind.

Mistress is now finally returning on Sunday. My current project at work is in a critical phase so I couldn’t go to London to meet her. But on Thursday we will be united again. I have to say I look forward to it but I am also scarred, will she release me or will she just tease me till I completely crack? I don’t mind loosing it, but I am scarred that Mistress will not forgive me when I do.

The love and hate of being in Chastity

I am now 6 years in a Female Led Relationship and Mistress controlled my orgasms from the very first day. It was one of the first things she said, “no cumming without my permission”. It where a few simple words but with a huge impact. It was part of my morning shower ritual; shave, wash, wank. I didn’t really enjoyed it, it was just part of the deal. When I wasn’t tired I would often had a wank in the evening too, watching some bdsm porn. Mistress put an end to all that taking over full control over my body and mind. I liked that, it made me feel close to Mistress but of course the first year I had some hick ups. Mistress made me pay cumtax or whipped me till I promised never to cum again without her consent. That only works for a month and then I would fail her again. Mistress decided it was time for chastity. Because I fly up and down to London all the time I bought my very first bon4, the large version of course. Proudly I wore it under my vanilla clothes and all was good. The trouble was a night, every night my hard-on woke me up and I was in pain. After 3 weeks I was a broken man, horny and tired as hell. Mistress released me for the first time and I was never so great full. I felt the power she had in locking me up it was almost more than I could handle.

Chastity made me afraid. As a masochist I know how to deal with pain, pain is all consuming, it takes over your body and mind. But goes away and leaving a friendly glow of love. Chastity was a different game, it didn’t go away, stays with you for weeks, months as long as Mistress wants. There is no escape just the knowledge that you are owned by your Mistress. After the first lockup I didn’t came ever again without Mistress permission. When I am really horny I edge myself or put nipple clamps till the pain is to much. All things I deserve punishment for but the line is cumming, that is only when Mistress gives it to me.

Over the years, the desire to cum has been greatly reduced. I am not that bothered anymore with cumming, don’t get me wrong I am still a very sexual person. But release can be in so many forms. When Mistress wants an orgasm it is about that and I don’t need one in return. I am happy when I can help achieving hers. Now Mistress let me cum an average once a month and I am very happy with that.

Chastity is still a very important part of our relationship. When Mistress travels for a longer time she locks me up. I now learned that a smaller device is better for me but I will never truly get use to it. The emotions are still all over the place after just a few days locked. It is not about not cumming anymore, it is about the constant pain and sleep deprivation. I am always tired and go to bed as soon as I can. Fall a sleep in seconds but never reaches REM sleep. When I do, I get woken up by the pain. People need REM sleep to order there brain, without it they go slowing crazy.

Dealing with emotions is hard and I fail all the time. But I learned to only focus only on my love for Mistress. The wonderful relationship we have where she totally controls my body and mind. That makes me smile and makes me miss Mistress even more but does gives me a happy feeling. All negative thoughts I push to the background. That would be fine but Mistress loves to control me. She sent me a picture kissing an other boy and I’ll be crying for hours wondering if she still loves me. On the other hand just a small message from Mistress that she loves me, makes me smile for hours. It is that total control over me that Mistress loves about putting me in chastity.

Chastity is a strong tool in any form of D/s relation and I understand why so many Mistresses use it as a training tool. For me I hate the little thing that is now between my legs but when Mistress returns home after being 6 weeks in Dubai and I see her smiling with my keys between her breasts teasing me with her beautiful body. I know I am owned by a powerful Dominatrix and I love every second of it.

Join me in Chastity!

If you are not ready, you can watch some chastity clips and dream about the moment Mistress locks you too.