The Mixed feelings about Chastity

On my blogs I already wrote a lot about chastity. That is not so strange because it is a powerful tool in any Female Led Relationship. As men we are programmed to spread our seed as often as possible. I am no exception to that. For years every day I started the day with a wank even when I was in a relationship and intercourse was a possibility I still wanked a lot just as a habit, it was part my routine.

When Mistress came in my life one of the first things she said was no cumming without permission. At first I taught it was hot, I was craving all my life to be controlled by a powerful dominatrix and Mistress fulfilled my wishes and more. After a few months and not being with Mistress all the time, I made my mistakes. Mistress responded quickly with severe punishment and of course for the first time chastity. A bon4 silicon with a plastic lock so I am still able to fly to Mistress and back to Holland.

From that moment chastity has been a big part of our D/s relationship. Mistress likes the control it gives her and I really like to be controlled by Mistress. It gives me a feeling of being owned. I really feel hers when I am locked and it feels good to have somebody that takes care of me. It also puts me at ease when I am with other women, Mistresses or not. Nothing can happen, I am claimed and locked.

On the other side, chastity is really difficult, the not cumming I can deal with that is for my Mistress. But the chastity cage also prevents a good sleep and that has effect on everything. I am always tired and can’t process the daily events during my R.E.M. sleep. It results that I am emotional, grumpy and have difficulties to concentrate. That has an effect on my work and friendships.

But more important is that it effect my thinking about Mistress. When I am lock with her it is fine, she corrects me when I have a difficult time and the whip is a great mind changer. When she is for months in the Middle East enjoying herself with her rich clients and toy boys my mind can go very dark. It always scares me and I am so afraid that one day I will do something stupid. I always have to calm myself down and remind me that she loves me and that it will be fine when we are back together.

But I wouldn’t want to miss it in our relationship. I think my Mistress is the most beautiful woman in the world and I crave her touch. But when I am in chastity and she teases me till I cry. The extreme power she has over me and the love I feel for her is one of the most beautiful things in my life. So thank you for controlling me my Mistress.

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