Can there be jealousy in a D/s relationship?

I think jealousy is part of any healthy relationship. It is just a natural side effect when you love somebody. That said it has to go hand in hand with reasoning. My Mistress is the most important person in my life, I am addicted to her and can never have enough of her, if possible I would keep her all to myself.

That is my raw emotion but it is very selfish and it is good to stop a moment by that. Why do I love her so much? I fell in love with a strong independent beautiful woman. That is capable of taking care of herself but prefer to be served and worshiped by many men and a few women. I don’t want to change her I love this powerful female force. She controls our life and does what she pleases.

The question is of course why am I not enough in her life? I know she loves me and want to spend the rest of her life with me so why let all these other energies mix with ours? It took me about 4 years to realize that I am not enough and that is a good thing. Mistress has many needs and wishes and they are often conflicting. She wants a loyal slave that does as she pleases, but she also likes to break a cocky man into submission. She wants a party animal to go out but also a down to earth men that she can come home to.

In the beginning I tried to be everything for her and was jealous to anybody that competed with me for Mistress attention. But the last few years I am settled, I feel secure and safe in Mistress her love for me. I serve her on a daily basis the best I can and in return she whips and spanks me to satisfy my kinks and relax my mind. I am still scared and jealous when she connects to other people, but I know that all will be okay. At the end of the evening when she slides in bed next to me, our energies entangles and the world is fine again. After all we are each other soulmates so we are made to love each other and we do.

The Role of punishment in D/s relationship

Almost all relationships are about power. It can be of course physical or by hierarchy but the more interesting power is mental power. Why do some people have natural leadership? A D/s relationship is consensual both persons accept willingly to take power or to give that power away.

So if it is all willing and consensual why should there be punishment in place? Don’t mix up punishment with play. When the D/s relationship have traditional SM elements then pain is part of the dynamics. Having a whipping session where the dominant goes in her domspace and the sub in his mindset is something beautiful and has nothing to do with punishment.

Punishment comes into play when something happened that was against the set rules. It can be a simple thing like, using the wrong form to address your Mistress. But it is of high importance in your D/s relationship. If small things are allowed to slip by then it will go quickly downhill. So when your Mistress punishes you be grateful, she will only punishes you when she cares. When she wants to improve the relationship and make you a better sub for her.

So what is a punishment? Of course it starts with pain. When Mistress gives me a cold caning. It is very difficult to get in the right mindset and it takes a lot of effort to take it for her. Seeing me struggle for her knowing that I don’t enjoy the pain and only do it to please her is a good punishment. But if Mistress wants to really change my behavior she punishes me by not allowing to be with her. It makes me so said that she is spending time with somebody else instead of with me. I do anything to avoid that.

Changing behavior for the better is really hard and we in a D/s relationship are the lucky once that have an extra tool to improve. So when Mistress punishes you to become better embrace it, learn from it and thank her for taking the time and effort.

Mistress is training me for 9 years. In the beginning I was punished a lot and that helped me to learn quickly. Now it doesn’t happen that often but as soon as I slip Mistress will help me to become a good boy for her again by punishing me extremely.

The Mixed feelings about Chastity

On my blogs I already wrote a lot about chastity. That is not so strange because it is a powerful tool in any Female Led Relationship. As men we are programmed to spread our seed as often as possible. I am no exception to that. For years every day I started the day with a wank even when I was in a relationship and intercourse was a possibility I still wanked a lot just as a habit, it was part my routine.

When Mistress came in my life one of the first things she said was no cumming without permission. At first I taught it was hot, I was craving all my life to be controlled by a powerful dominatrix and Mistress fulfilled my wishes and more. After a few months and not being with Mistress all the time, I made my mistakes. Mistress responded quickly with severe punishment and of course for the first time chastity. A bon4 silicon with a plastic lock so I am still able to fly to Mistress and back to Holland.

From that moment chastity has been a big part of our D/s relationship. Mistress likes the control it gives her and I really like to be controlled by Mistress. It gives me a feeling of being owned. I really feel hers when I am locked and it feels good to have somebody that takes care of me. It also puts me at ease when I am with other women, Mistresses or not. Nothing can happen, I am claimed and locked.

On the other side, chastity is really difficult, the not cumming I can deal with that is for my Mistress. But the chastity cage also prevents a good sleep and that has effect on everything. I am always tired and can’t process the daily events during my R.E.M. sleep. It results that I am emotional, grumpy and have difficulties to concentrate. That has an effect on my work and friendships.

But more important is that it effect my thinking about Mistress. When I am lock with her it is fine, she corrects me when I have a difficult time and the whip is a great mind changer. When she is for months in the Middle East enjoying herself with her rich clients and toy boys my mind can go very dark. It always scares me and I am so afraid that one day I will do something stupid. I always have to calm myself down and remind me that she loves me and that it will be fine when we are back together.

But I wouldn’t want to miss it in our relationship. I think my Mistress is the most beautiful woman in the world and I crave her touch. But when I am in chastity and she teases me till I cry. The extreme power she has over me and the love I feel for her is one of the most beautiful things in my life. So thank you for controlling me my Mistress.

My view on Female Led Relationships

Mistress talks often about our relationship from her point of view. I will take this opportunity to tell a bit in my process to settle in our relationship.

It of course all start with my mother. I was brought up in a traditional Belgium family where the Mother is the base of the family life. With two older sisters I can safely say that I grew up with lots of female power around me. It taught me respect, compassion but most important the strength of female leadership.

My mum had a few rules; If you make a mess, you clean up the mess. Don’t trouble others you are already trouble enough by yourself. Always be respectful to others no matter what. I tried to follow my mothers rules as good as possible.

When I first met Mistress, I knew this was going to be the woman I spent the rest of my life with. She quickly saw the potential in me but of course a woman worshiped by so many men needed proof first. She puts me on a very strict servitude regime. I was punished for every mistake and then some more just because Mistress loves to hurt me. For the first year my body was never without the marks of Mistress.

This was from both sides difficult to keep up. I had trouble to mix my personal life, my normal work, the work for Mistress and my domestic services. Mistress didn’t want to be on top of my work at all times, punishing me for every little mistake, she just wanted things to be done her way. This wasn’t going to work in the long term and for the first time we discussed our relationship. Not as Mistress and slave but as two people in love with an alternative lifestyle.

The traditional TPE (Total power exchange) wasn’t a fit. Mistress wants me to be a strong individual living up to my full potential in the corporate work as well as good dad and role model for my daughter. This requires lots of independent acting. On the other hands she want to be released of the daily tasks and just somebody around that takes care of her wishes.

The solution was the Female Led Relationship. We both have a strong say but Mistress decision is final. If we disagree a word of Mistress is enough to put me back in my place. Mistress controls for 100% my sexuality and has the right to punish me for no other reason then that she like to see me in pain. I take care of most domestic tasks. I also get all the time I need for work and family.

It works out so beautifully. We never fight of course sometimes I don’t agree with Mistress. But that isn’t enough to not make it happen. I quickly switch to a mode of acceptance and try to make the best out of it. If I do make a mistake, Mistress makes me pay severely but when the punishment is over so is the conflict. Actually each punishment brings us closer together.

Mistress does encourage me to speak up, she listens to my troubles and concerns. She relies on my opinion to prevent wrong decisions in both our lives. She always does what she pleases but with my input she can make better. She has an excellent bullshit radar and most of the time she just says to man up. But when I have a real problem she will be the first to help me. She is not afraid to make hard decision and pushes me forward in all aspects of my life. I am a stronger, healthier and most of all happier person since I am with Mistress in a female led relationship.

Story: It could be real

I haven’t seen Mistress for weeks, she was once again of on her many travels. This time it was a trip around several European cities. I was alone in the house in London, trying not to feel too lonely. Mistress has been very distant to me, not much more then “Good morning boy” and “Good night” wasn’t communicated. Of course she left me in chastity as she always does when she travels.

The next morning after a difficult night struggling with my chastity I woke up with a text from Mistress: “Report this evening at 6pm, bring everything you need to cook for 4 ladies” In the next message was an address in south London. I looked up the address with google street view and it was a big house in a nice neighborhood a little over on hour away by public transport.

I didn’t understand was Mistress there? Did I have to serve another Mistress? I looked at Mistress her tweets and she just posted a picture of her in front of the lake in Zurich. Guess I have to serve another Mistress. I don’t mind, it is a good distraction for me when Mistress is not around and with a bit of luck I get some play time. A good spanking always relaxes my mind during long periods of chastity.

Mistress didn’t gave me any clue what to cook. I was hoping that fish would do it. Of to the market and I got some scallops, tiger prawns as a starter and sea bass for the main. Next to the supermarket for lots of vegetables enough so if one of the ladies is vegan I could deal with it.

At 6pm exactly I ran to the doorbell and waited nervously, nothing happened and I was starting to wonder what to do. Then I could her the sound of high heels approaching quickly the door opened and Kalida was in front of me with a big smile shouting “Ollllaaaaa”. I was so surprised seeing her that I didn’t move or say anything back. She grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. Come she said.

I followed her with my two big shopping bags, up the stairs like an idiot. Kalida as always looked amazing I was wondering who else was in the house. We arrived in an empty bedroom. I could see 2 little piles of male clothes, so I wasn’t the only one here. She said undress and took my shopping bags and she went downstairs. Nothing else I could do then follow her instructions and a few minutes later I was completely naked and left my clouting neatly folded next to the others.

A few minutes later I could her Kalida’s high heels coming up the stairs, I folded my hands in front of my chastity and looked uncomfortable down. She smiled and said relax, I have something for you. In her hands she had my chastity keys. How on earth was that possible? Is Mistress here? Did Mistress sent her the keys? With a quick move she opened the lock and I was free. Why did she release me? Only Mistress releases me, I felt very much out of my comfort zone. I felt Kalida put something else on my cock. It where Kali’s teeth that locks around the shaft but also behind my balls. I could feel the pins digging in my flaccid penis. This will be extreme if I get hard. Kalida laughed and said look Kalida’s teeth.

I followed her back downstairs into the kitchen and she said food in one hour of she went. One hour was just enough to have everything ready and I started as quick as I could. An hour later I was ready and just at that moment Maid Anna and Susie entered the kitchen. I asked if how are they doing, is Mistress here? They looked at me as if I wasn’t there. They each took two plates of the starters and of they go. When they opened the door I think I could hear Mistress laughing or was I just imagining that.

I felt so alone, but started at the main dish, nobody was talking to me so I have no clue of timing. Kalida came in the kitchen went to get a bottle of white wine. I tried to make contact but she also completely ignored me. I was ready to serve but nobody came to collect. I went to listen to the door. I could here people talk loud and having fun. I felt said that I was here alone in the kitchen. Then I could hear doors opening and I quickly went back to my place. They came in with empty dishes and went back with full. Nothing else for me to do so I cleaned the kitchen as good as I could.

Kalida came back in she made the signal for “inspection position” I listened to her and quickly was on my knees. She put a latex hood on me, it was very thick latex. I couldn’t see anything and the latex over my ears muffled all sounds. I could feel that she put cuffs on my writs and ankles the little click sound indicates that everything was locked with padlocks. I felt a sharp tuck on my neck and we where on the move. I couldn’t see a thing and Kalida walked quickly but I managed to keep up with her as good as I could.

We stopped for a second and she pushed me to the floor, before I knew it spread eagle locked with my cuffs. I tested my bounds and no way I could get out of here without help. Then a sharp pain went to though my nipples something was piercing them with enormous force. I tried to get my hands to my nipples but no even a chance to get close. My cock is so used to get hard when Mistress hurts my nipples that even with this extreme pain I was getting hard. The sharp pins of the locked Kali’s teeth where merciless and I was in even more pain.

I was laying there in pain for some time, as suddenly somebody sat on my face and immediately a warm stream hit my mouth. I tried to catch and drink as much as I could. It wasn’t strong it was a bit sweet, I was wondering if this was Mistress or somebody else. In a few minutes it was over and I was alone again. Only for a few minutes and somebody else sat down on me. The way she used me it felt like Mistress also before she left me pulled my nipples and tapped my trapped cock. This went on for hours and I was full, I didn’t knew if the the next would make me puke or that I would pee myself.

I couldn’t hold it anymore and let the pee flow. I knew it was wrong but if felt so good feeling the warmth running over my legs. It felt like I would never stop. Then everything changed even through my hood I could hear somebody shout “What the hell!” A few moment later I was released and dragged to somewhere outside. Before I knew it extremely cold water was running over me. Somebody was hosing me down. It was so cold, I was shaking, begging to stop.

Next I was dragged again to yet another place, something was attached to my cuffs and seconds later I was almost hanging on my cuffs just the tip of my toes could reach the ground. Then the first lash hits me and soon they came from all directions.I could hear the ladies laughing and screaming at me. Even with the hood I could clearly hear Mistress voice. She sounded angry but now I was sure she was there I accepted my faith. I stopped screaming the lashes kept coming and I slowly went into subspace.

After it was all a blur as some moment it stopped and I was just hanging there. The hood was removed and I was alone with Kalida in the some kind of garage. When I saw her I started crying, I need my Mistress now not Kalida. But she was nowhere to be seen. Kalida released me and took me upstairs where she showered me and put me to bed. My body hurts so much, why wasn’t Mistress not with me now? I cried again and felt asleep.

Hours later, I woke up somebody was getting into bed next to me. It was Mistress I grabbed her and started to apologize. She said it was ok, that I took my punishment well, she was proud of me. It was like a heavy load fell of me and I finally relax. Mistress had other plans she whispered in my ear, seeing you in so much pain made me wet all evening. I felt my cock getting hard but the Kali’s teeth dug in and made me scream a little. Mistress said I don’t have the keys, I release you tomorrow, now get to work and she pushed me down. I went to work and was finally completely relaxed and happy again, what an amazing Mistress I have.

6 weeks together with Mistress

Because of our current working situation Mistress and I are never together for long. Only during the holidays we are 3 weeks together. At the beginning of the lockdown, I flew to Mistress with one of the last planes from Eindhoven. Now we are 6 weeks together and it is a great time.

I have to be honest I was a little bit scared to be so long together while I also have to work. Mistress always wants things to be done the moment she asks me something. During the day I am always on video calls and can not attend to my Mistress. It took a while to get used to and she sometimes still interrupts but she respects my work.

As soon as I am done Mistress always have to reassure her authority. Massaging her feet, give me a whipping are record some content for her onlyfans. I have to say it is amazing to serve her like this. I am now typing this with my ass still hurting from her last spanking. Looking at her sitting on the sofa, no fetish clothing but she looks so beautiful. Any second she can click her fingers and my world changes.

The difficult thing is the cumming control, Mistress had me in chastity for some time. But released me last week and just gave me a ruined orgasm. I am so used to not cum for weeks. But now Mistress always looks so amazing this cum control is so difficult. I know better not to beg for it, but if Mistress would allow me I would beg every day for attention, but I know better and wait till Mistress grants me permission.

People always say I am lucky and I am. Not because I am in D/s relation, but that I am in a loving relationship where we both can be express our love and kinks without holding back. Thank you Mistress for being in my life.

Miss Kitty Rei

For the 9 years I have been to Mistress I have seen her daughter growing up from a kid to a teenager and lately to a wonderful powerful woman. On the surface you would say they are completely different personality but in fact they have so many things in common.

They both are strong believers in the the superiority of females. They are both strong minded and don’t take anything from no-one including each other. Miss Kitty Rei is now 19 years old and is start to share her female power on onlyfans.

I am 100% focused on my Mistress and I am happy that she doesn’t share me. But a few days ago we did our first photo shoot with Mistress and Miss Kitty Rei together. Of course I want to share some of the results.

Working from Home

What a strange time we are living in right now. I am working from home the last 2 weeks. One week in Holland and now one week next to my Mistress in London. Working in IT really gives you the freedom to work from everywhere. Even in my current function where I have mostly meetings I can perfectly work from home.

So different is it for Mistress she is normally so busy all to arrange things, meet people have sessions make sure her dungeon is in perfect condition. It all comes to a stop, no more sessions, no more meetings, no more dungeon bookings. Like any independent entrepreneur at the moment these are hard times.

The balance is shifted for everybody that can work from home it are actually financial good times. You don’t spend that much money on shopping but more important you spend less money on entertainment at the end of the month you will have more disposable income over.

So I would encourage to help all you regular independent entrepreneurs in any way you can. From the local restaurant on the corner to your favorite sex worker. Most of them have a financial buffer but these things never last for long. There are so many things you can do, have a you ever been dominated over the phone? Of course you can buy your daily clip. But a better way to support your Mistress is to pre-book a session and pay in full, don’t specify the date it will happen as soon as this crisis is over.

Personally this lockdown with Mistress is heaven for me. Nobody else to play with but me. If you want to see us playing you can follow everything on Mistress her onlyfans.

Vote for Madame Caramel

As a sub and partner I am of course bias as hell. She is the woman that loves and whips me and of course she is the best in my eyes. But let me explain what I have seen over the past 9 years.

I have seen many subs come and go. You have a few categories. First you have the one that just for once want to have a session with the great Madame Caramel. They book a session expresses there kinks and come with an open mind to enjoy. Mistress will deliver a beautiful session that they will remember and treasure for the rest of their lives.

Next you have the fetishist that just wants their kinks to be satisfied. That is not what Mistress does. She doesn’t deliver for money, she is living the lifestyle and always put her own wishes before the boys. These boys normally come and go quickly.

But what I want to talk about are the lifestyle subs. This is the area where Mistress truly excels. Come to her and submit open and freely accepting the training she will give you. You will not only experience what it is to serve in a femdom household in time she will give you the chance to be part of her life. Serving her when she wants, attending to her needs.

I have seen this happen many times and they all have to go, including me, trough the learning phases.

  • Enthusiastic no clue what this is all about, trying and failing to serve Mistress
  • Understanding how difficult it is and thinking that they will never be a good boy
  • Understanding that it needs constant training, accepting that you always have to learn.
  • Accepting your place in Mistress her life as her trained and obedient servant

Mistress is an expert in motivation using your and her kinks to go through all of it. Till you are really hers. Trained to sub that knows exactly how to treat his Mistress.

Mistress is not selfish she could keep her slaves and use them to life the comfortable of a Goddess she is. Instead I have seen her matching many Mistresses and subs giving them the happiness of a female led relationship.

As an example I would like to give you Susie Monday. Susie is longer with Mistress then I am. But I had the honor of seeing many phases of her training. Susie started as TV fetishist looking to be slut in a safe environment. That is exactly what Mistress gave her. She used Susie a lot in her dungeon when a sissy was needed. But that was balanced with strict training in the house. Mistress taught her strict protocol serving her and her friends. Of course chastity training was the basis, being locked gives you focus on Mistress. Susie also went through the phases of submission and it is only recently that she fully accept her purpose in Mistress life that was also the moment she received Mistress collar making her forever hers.

I know many Mistresses and only few can train a man to their full potential. Mistress her collared slave are strong, happy, successful man knowing what they want in life and that is serving a Goddess.

So please vote for Mistress at the UK Fetish Awards for best Mistress, (click on the stars) While you are there also vote for the best Dungeon in London, The Hoxton Dungeon Suite.