The love and hate of being in Chastity

I am now 6 years in a Female Led Relationship and Mistress controlled my orgasms from the very first day. It was one of the first things she said, “no cumming without my permission”. It where a few simple words but with a huge impact. It was part of my morning shower ritual; shave, wash, wank. I didn’t really enjoyed it, it was just part of the deal. When I wasn’t tired I would often had a wank in the evening too, watching some bdsm porn. Mistress put an end to all that taking over full control over my body and mind. I liked that, it made me feel close to Mistress but of course the first year I had some hick ups. Mistress made me pay cumtax or whipped me till I promised never to cum again without her consent. That only works for a month and then I would fail her again. Mistress decided it was time for chastity. Because I fly up and down to London all the time I bought my very first bon4, the large version of course. Proudly I wore it under my vanilla clouts and all was good. The trouble was a night, every night my hardon woke me up and I was in pain. After 3 weeks I was a broken man, horny and tired as hell. Mistress released me for the first time and I was never so great full. I felt the power she had in locking me up it was almost more than I could handle.

Chastity made me afraid. As a masochist I know how to deal with pain, pain is all consuming, it takes over your body and mind. But goes away and leaving a friendly glow of love. Chastity was a different game, it didn’t go away, stays with you for weeks, months as long as Mistress wants. There is no escape just the knowledge that you are owned by your Mistress. After the first lockup I didn’t came ever again without Mistress permission. When I am really horny I edge myself or put nipple clamps till the pain is to much. All things I deserve punishment for but the line is cumming, that is only when Mistress gives it to me.

Over the years, the desire to cum has been greatly reduced. I am not that bothered anymore with cumming, don’t get me wrong I am still a very sexual person. But release can be in so many forms. When Mistress wants an orgasm it is about that and I don’t need one in return. I am happy when I can help achieving hers. Now Mistress let me cum an average once a month and I am very happy with that.

Chastity is still a very important part of our relationship. When Mistress travels for a longer time she locks me up. I now learned that a smaller device is better for me but I will never truly get use to it. The emotions are still all over the place after just a few days locked. It is not about not cumming anymore, it is about the constant pain and sleep deprivation. I am always tired and go to bed as soon as I can. Fall a sleep in seconds but never reaches REM sleep. When I do, I get woken up by the pain. People need REM sleep to order there brain, without it they go slowing crazy.

Dealing with emotions is hard and I fail all the time. But I learned to only focus only on my love for Mistress. The wonderful relationship we have where she totally controls my body and mind. That makes me smile and makes me miss Mistress even more but does gives me a happy feeling. All negative thoughts I push to the background. That would be fine but Mistress loves to control me. She sent me a picture kissing an other boy and I’ll be crying for hours wondering if she still loves me. On the other hand just a small message from Mistress that she loves me, makes me smile for hours. It is that total control over me that Mistress loves about putting me in chastity.

Chastity is a strong tool in any form of D/s relation and I understand why so many Mistresses use it as a training tool. For me I hate the little thing that is now between my legs but when Mistress returns home after being 6 weeks in Dubai and I see her smiling with my keys between her breasts teasing me with her beautiful body. I know I am owned by a powerful Dominatrix and I love every second of it.

Join me in Chastity!

If you are not ready, you can watch some chastity clips and dream about the moment Mistress locks you too.

One Reply to “The love and hate of being in Chastity”

  1. Awesome! Its in fact amazing paragraph, I have got much clear idea regarding how chastity would work in a real D/s relationship, thank you for sharing!

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